It’s Here!

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Good morning!

This is one big weekend for running races…and I’m really happy to be a part of it! This evening, Mr. BF and I will be jetting off to the windy city, where we’ll arrive at midnight just in time to scuttle to our hotel (right by the airport!) and get a good night’s sleep. Luckily, we aren’t in much of a rush, so sleeping in and loading up on quality rest shouldn’t be a problem.

Tomorrow is dedicated to going to the expo, eating/hydrating, and seeing as much of Chicago as possible without spending too much time on our feet. Maybe a boat tour? Museum? Does anyone have any not-too-laborious ideas of what to do in Chicago?

This week has been pretty taper-standard in terms of my activity/rest levels. I’ve been sleeping really well and consistently (very thankful for this!) and my exercise has been minimal. I ran 5 miles Monday and 4 Wednesday, both very slowly, and other than some swimming and stretching—I’ve been enjoying the relaxed schedule. It’s  funny…so often I dread taper and I feel like such a slug all week, but I’m actually enjoying the rest this time around. I think I’m finally realizing that the work done during tapering (muscle repair, energy restoration, etc.) are vital to performing well in a race. In fact, without taper, all the months of hard work can end up being  self-destructive when it actually comes time to race. Remind me of this next time I’m having “I HATE EVERYTHING” taper tantrums, okay?

However, with that said, the other day as I was working, the feeling of “Man I just want to go on a really long run right now,” came over me—hard. How convenient, huh? In other words, while I’m enjoying the rest…I’m definitely feeling the itch, and I have a feeling come Sunday I’ll be feeling like a caged beast. That’s the goal after all, isn’t it?

As for the race itself, I’m so fortunate that I’ll have the help of Girls on the Run to coordinate some of the logistics both pre and post race. They’ve rented out a school’s cafeteria right near the start line where all us Solemates can stay warm, use the restroom, and leave all our things during the race! I have definitely not overlooked how helpful this is, and I’m really grateful for them.

I’ll be in Corral C, meaning I’m in the first wave start which will be at 7:30 a.m. Central time.

My plan for the race is to do the first half very conservatively and then see how I feel. I’m planning on sticking between an 8:30-8:45 pace to begin (probably closer to 8:45), and if I feel good at the halfway point I might pick it up a bit. I’ve written about this before, but there are times when I’m more comfortable actually going a little faster rather than slower just based on what I’m used to in my regular training.  However, I’m going to need to save my energy, so the plan for right now is to conserve—and if for some reason I feel great later on (wishful thinking, huh?), I’ll go down to 8:20s or so.

There are some things I will definitely have on my side in terms of getting to the finish line on Sunday. The first being the fact that this course is notorious for just how flat it is; the fact that I won’t have to worry about hills is huge in terms of energy conservation. The second is the crowd! From what I’ve heard, the spectators in Chicago are incredibly encouraging and helpful, and while I’ve done races with crowds before, I have a feeling that I’m going to be a bit overwhelmed (in a good way) with just how many people there are going to be. The third thing that will be on my side is the weather! Right now, the forecast is low 50s, partly sunny, and fairly windless. This is pretty close to perfect in terms of marathon weather, and with the heat that’s plagued this race for the past few years…I consider us very lucky to have this forecast to look forward to.

In order to enjoy the race itself and not focus as much on *other* factors (ahem, my ankle, my out-of-marathon-shape-ness) I think I’m going to run off and on with music. I want to let the experience of running among and with so many people, in a beautiful new-to-me city, really soak in, and I think if I can dapple this with some distracting tune-age, I may just make it out alive.

So how am I feeling? Honestly, I feel ready. I’m ready to be in Chicago, I’m ready to be in my Brooks, and I’m ready to run. I know I might not be as actually “ready” as I would have liked, but I need to play the cards I’ve been dealt the best I can, and for now that means hoping for the best, playing it safe, and enjoying every moment.

So today, I’ll be listening to “Be a Man” from Mulan and “Til I Collapse” by Eminem on repeat and looking forward to competing in the second largest marathon in the world!

If you want to track me during the race it’s super easy! Aren’t big marathons good for that sort of thing? My bib number is 6486, and if you fill in some basic information on this website you can track me during the whole race (I believe the updates are every 10k or so).

Time to go run a marathon people! See you (hopefully!) on the other side!

Now you! Are you racing this weekend? Have you been in Chicago? What’s your favorite thing to do in Chicago? Will you be following the elites on TV? Don’t worry, I should be too far behind them 🙂

My Brain on Marathon

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These past few days there have been two things going through my head:

Holy shit, I’m running a marathon this weekend.

And

Holy shit, I need to blog about all my feelings.

Okay…there have been 5,000 other thoughts going on as well, but stick with me.

Somehow, I couldn’t seem to get these two very complimentary thoughts to mesh together in beautiful, therapeutic symmetry.

I mean come on—don’t all running bloggers blog 2x per day, every day, during the last two weeks of taper before a marathon?

We have so many nerves, ideas, and circumstances floating through our heads…and all we want to do is talk to other runners about them all.

So why haven’t I been spilling my guts out incessantly and instead just been flitting over the surface in regard to my upcoming 26.2 attempt?

Honestly, I don’t know.

I am thinking about the race nonstop. I already have pre-race butterflies in my stomach. I am in a constant back-and-forth battle between being excited and optimistic and being so nervous I want to hide under my desk.

Essentially, there are so many thoughts going through my little taper-brain that I’ve had a hard time coming up with anything coherent or sensible to write about. I know, I know…a lot of my blog posts are of the word-vomit variety already. However, when it’s been coming time to put my fingers to the keyboard to describe how I’m feeling about this race, my brain spirals into chaos—and I can barely sit still—let alone write a post.

With that said, I’m not here to offer up any constructive or solid “feelings” or “plans” or whatever it is you’re supposed to have the week before a marathon. I am here, however, to attempt to let loose some steam—and to hopefully give a little insight into how you truly never know what to expect in so very much of life.

It’s hard for me to differentiate my nerves between regular, expected pre-marathon jitters, and legitimate concerns about my current condition. Sometimes, I’m imagining it as just any other marathon—other times, I’m thinking of it as a death march on out-of-shape legs and a floppy, swollen ankle. I’m trying to land somewhere in the middle of these two outlooks—balancing the ordinary nervousness with the warranted exceptional circumstance I’ll be running the race in.

Of course, marathon brain is far from balanced and sensible, so despite my best efforts so just chill and play with the cards I’ve been dealt…it’s been a process to actually internalize that mindset.

Recently, it’s been going more like this:

“I’m going to have the best time! I might have some pain later on, but as long as I go easy, soak in the sights, and let the race adrenaline work its magic..I’ll be fine! I love running! I love marathons! This will be great!”

…two minutes later:

“I’m going to die. I’m going to be exhausted after one mile, my legs are going to cramp, and even if I make it pretty far, I’m going to have to bail and get off the course. Then I’m going to cry. Even if I make it, I’m going to be walking, puking, and/or crying until the finish line.”

Once again, I’m trying to rationalize that I’ll probably land somewhere in the middle.

I’m also trying to remind myself about just how mental running is. Because in my opinion, and in the opinions of many, many great runners out there who are far more qualified to make claims than me, running is primarily mental. Certainly, it takes endurance and strength to run a marathon—no doubt about it. But ultimately, the thing that keeps our feet moving and our will to finish alive is our attitude.

Now, I learned back in T-town that I definitely have a good deal of mental strength. This time around, I’m going to try and channel that mental strength into being present in the moment and savouring the fact that I am able to run a marathon. Let me also just clarify that while what happened in Tacoma is high on my fear list, I no longer want to rehash that race—and I now know that there is a difference between pushing it and pushing it too far.

With that said, I will not be trying to BQ, PR, or anything of that sort during this race. While those types of goals are often high on my list and they encourage me to keep moving, they are also the kind of goals that could disable me from finishing. Due to my current circumstance with my ankle and my training glitches, the only goals I have for this race are to a) finish and b) negative split. I don’t want to negative split to ensure a particular time; I just know that I am going to need reserved energy for the second half. My pacing intentions will be solely for the purpose of staying consistent and staying safe.

I am planning to run by feel, which is a good theme for how I’ve handled these past few weeks of “training.” All of my decisions about when to run, when to rest, and if I was going to do the race haven’t been based on a pre-determined schedule, but solely on how I feel. That’s how I’m planning to run this race. I have paces in mind that I know I will be able to hold for a long time, and although they are many, many seconds slower than I originally planned on running this race—they are what will help get me to the finish line.

So for right now, I trying to channel my energy into focusing on a few things.

The first is positive self talk. I am always such a huge proponent of mantras and self confidence when it comes to encouraging other people along, but I’m not so good at practicing what I preach. I do believe that positive thinking and visualization can make a world of difference in performance—and so excuse me while I act super cocky and conceited for the next 72 hours.

The second thing I’m trying to focus on is what my intention was behind doing this race in the first place. When I first registered, I knew I wanted to take this race less seriously than I had for many before. Marathon training had become less fun and too stressful, and this time around I wanted to enjoy the running for what it was instead of focus solely on numbers. Admittedly, I slipped away from this a bit when I started seeing my times get faster, but now that I’m kind of forced to run the race easier than planned—my original intention has come back into focus.

In addition to my goal of having fun with training for this race, I also wanted to focus on doing something more than just my own, petty “look at me and how much I run” approach. I chose to fund-raise and run on behalf of Girls on the Run because they are an organization that I believe advocates all the best things about running. Girls on the Run gets down to the grass roots of the pure joy, confidence, and enthusiasm that running can instill, and this was a message I wanted to both advocate to others and internalize for myself.

No matter what happens—I’ve raised a lot of money and promoted a group whose cause resonates with so many of the reasons I love to run. And for that, I’m proud and humbled to run on behalf of them.

I suppose there are actually a lot of advantages to running a marathon that isn’t a goal race. And despite my uber-competitive mind trying with all its might to both “be a hero” and finish with an impressive time—for now, she’s going to need to shut up. This is a really good opportunity for me to tune into the part of running that isn’t competitive—the part that isn’t tangible, or “qualifying,” or up to some standard.

I’m going to run because I love it, and no matter what happens—Sunday is just one more day I get to run. In the second biggest marathon in the world— no less. If nothing else, I want to finish how ever many miles I run knowing that I ran smart and I ran happy. Anything else (finishing, a decent time, etc.) will just be gravy.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening to me spill my very-full brain. These are the times I’m so happy I have a blog, both as a way for me to get out my thoughts and a way to communicate with runners who’ve experienced all the same things. Writing everything down has always helped relax me—and I’m already feeling more excited for Sunday.

I’ll have a post tomorrow with a few more specifics as to strategy, logistics, etc. I’ll also post a link to how you can follow me during the race! We’re getting closer and closer…and my window of complex carb consumption/hydrating/foam rolling is here.

Bring it on, baby.

Decision Time

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Well folks, after much deliberation…I’ve made a final decision:

This Sunday, I will be running the Chicago Marathon.

I’ve thought a lot about this decision, I’ve asked a lot of people their advice, and I’ve done a lot of internet perusing to find “the right answer” as to what I should do.

And I realized a couple of things, but namely…there really isn’t a right answer in this scenario. Some people are willing to run on anything that isn’t a stress fracture, and some people stay away for just the sniffles. There were a number of different pros and cons for me to consider, both big and small. And in the end—despite all the opinions, the research, and the back-and-forth, I knew it had to be my decision—not anyone else’s.

And guess what? With a little help from rest, meds, and wishful thinking, I’m healthy enough to run the race—and I’m gonna try.

But let’s rewind a bit, and I’ll catch you up to speed as to where I currently stands in regard to this race:

1 month ago, I had to stop short on a 20 mile run from horrible ankle pain. I was limping for days, icing like crazy, and popping more pain killers than I ever have before. The doctor was nonchalant about it and told me it was just bad tendonitis, but I was still not thinking the worst. In the back of my head, my hopes of a stellar Chicago Marathon were getting shrouded away, seemingly all at once.

1 week after the initial injury struck, I tried running for the first time—to no avail. I couldn’t make it 1/4 mile without my ankle blowing up like a balloon. I limped very slowly the whole way home, holding back tears, and continued to lower my self-proclaimed likelihood of running the race.

A little over a week ago, I went back to the doctor. This time, I was prescribed some actual, real deal pain killers. He told me that if I felt up for it—he would give the green light to run the race. Once again, I tried to run…this time, I made it 6 miles. They weren’t pain free, but I got them out, and it seemed that my ankle was getting better.

Last week, I was able to do the aforementioned 6 mile run, an 8.5 mile run, and a 7.5 mile run. Each felt better than the one before, and my ankle pain was getting to be less and less each time I headed out. After two weeks of discouragement, Chicago was back on the table.

This past weekend was the weekend I proclaimed to be “decision time.” I knew I didn’t want to even make the trip if I wasn’t going to run the race, therefore I needed to make the call one way or the other ahead of time. I set out on my previously planned 12 mile run, deciding that if I made it relatively pain free—I was gonna race.

12 miles later, and…well shit, I’m running a marathon next weekend.

I ran the 12 miles with very little ankle irritation. In fact, there wasn’t even a glimmer of the injury for probably 75% of the run. This was indeed very encouraging…and although I know 26 miles is many more than 12, the rate at which my injury seems to be recovering makes me think that I will be able to spend most of the race relatively pain-free.

However, while my ankle may be mostly cooperative…taking two weeks off completely from running took it’s toll, and admittedly I am mostly worried now about the condition of my legs more than anything else.

I’m not gonna lie…those 12 miles were tough. My lungs felt good, my ankle even felt good, but my legs felt tired. This could have been just an average “bad run,” but I know I’m also feeling the rusty effects of not having run long in a while. I was concerned with just how tired I felt after 12 miles, and it made a marathon seem even more daunting than, well, a marathon already is.

But, the fact of the matter is that if I wasn’t going to run this race…it wasn’t going to be because of some tired legs. It was because of an injury…an injury which seems to be on its way out the door. I feel like I have to try, and while this might be the most difficult marathon I’ve ever attempted, I don’t want to go down without a fight.

Frankly, I’m really nervous for the race. I’m scared of not finishing. I’m scared for the pain. And perhaps more than anything, I don’t like the uncertainty. While of course I was anxious for my first two marathons, I was always very confident in my ability to finish. This setback has left me in a much less confident state in my running—and while I know I haven’t lost all of the training I built up, I’m definitely not in ideal marathon shape.

However, these fears and apprehension aren’t enough to keep me from the start line. I’m truthfully very excited and grateful that I will still get the chance to be in and at the race. This is one of the biggest races in the world, I’ve trained hard to get to it, I’ve raised a lot of money for a great cause, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get out there and try.

So get ready kids, this will be interesting.

 

Chicago Marathon Training Week #11 + Weekend

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So, there wasn’t much running involved in my workouts last week…you already knew that. I didn’t post my training last week though out of bitter resentment, so here’s a look at how all the non-running training went:

M: 30 min stair stepper, 60 min swim

T: 2 hour spin class

W: 60 min stair stepper + BodyPump

T: 90 min swim

F: 60 min stair stepper + BodyPump

S: 2 hour swim! 5,000 meters

S: 20 min stair stepper + 6 m run!

Total: 6 miles running

Yea, so that number ^^ is very minuscule compared to where I should have been. But, considering my two week injury hiatus from running, I will gladly take any miles over none. And in spite of not being able to run, I was happy with how I managed to keep activity levels high. I am still in love with my BodyPump class, particularly the instructor, and I think it’s been doing really good things for both my strength and coordination.

In other news, after a beautiful rest day yesterday, I was able to run 8.4 miles today! It wasn’t very pretty, and it wasn’t very easy, but hot damn it happened. And guess what? My ankle felt better than it did during Sunday’s first run back! It was still a little cranky, but it seems that this persnickety tendonitis beast may be on its way out the door. It’s really encouraging that my ankle seems to be getting better while still running on it…and it’s making me feel inches closer to making the decision to race. Don’t worry, I’m still going to take it easy and play the super-taper game…but in the mean time it feels great to pound some pavement again.

On my run this morning, I thought a lot about what would happen if I do decide to race. Because when I don’t wear headphones, my entire life—all past, present, and future aspects of it—seems to engulf my brain.

I felt a whole number of things this morning, but mainly encouraged and anxious. I can feel the possibility of doing the Chicago Marathon getting higher, but simultaneously I’m getting scared for just what finishing, (read:surviving), the race will entail.

I need to come to terms with that fact that not only will I be slower than normal and will potentially walk some of the race—there is a good chance I will be in pain during a good amount of it. Pain on top of normal, typical marathon pains. It’s certainly not an ideal scenario—and it’s one that will require perhaps more mental preparation than any other race, should the opportunity come.

Time will tell people. However, I did hear last night that a friend in Chicago is willing to host BF and I for race eve…..and he lives ONE MILE from the start line. We were originally planning on staying out at the airport…a good half hour away. Universe coming together? We’ll see.

In other news, here’s a look at what was a fan-effing-tastic weekend. The weather in Seattle was perfection, and somehow BF and I managed to be way more social this weekend than we have been the entire year.

Spoiler: There was a lot of beer.

Mariner’s Game!

Double dating and baseball night—the Ms even decided to win!

Ferry ride post-game. DON’T WORRY I REPAINTED MY TOES FINALLY. I told you it was a productive weekend.

Seattle skyline via water transportation. Love.

The following morning…

What’s the best thing to come home to after a 2 hour swim? Your boyfriend making pancakes for you. You can’t really tell…but the one underneath is pink. That’s love.

One invite from another couple later…and we were at the Fremont Oktoberfest party ready to cash in our ten tasting tokens. (I only made it to 7…)

Oktoberfest! BF…that mug is just the perfect size for you…you dainty man you.

This was my last beer, I think…and one of 4 attempts at this photo. Low tolerance + high percentage alcohol beer= drunk Robyn.

Right now…I love fall. We are in the perfect phase where it’s not raining, it’s not too cold, and it’s not too hot. The leaves are crunchy and the air promises Halloween and cooler temps shortly. And by Halloween, I mean “I’m probably going to buy candy this weekend.” Loving it. In fact, I might break my pumpkin spice latte rule and not wait until October. CRAZY TALK…I rage.

I hope your weeks have started off splendidly!

 

What would you do?

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What a difference a week can make.

Last Saturday, I spent the morning running 1/4 mile, failing, and then crying about it while simultaneously trying to swim. Not a pretty picture.

Fast forward to yesterday. After having not one but two spin classes cancelled on me, and after plodding up and down on the stair-stepper for a while…I decided to see how my ankle would hold up on a run.

I was nervous, I had ridiculously low expectations, and I had to mentally prepare myself for the fact that it may be a huge fail.

So after my morning gym session, I went home, changed shoes, grabbed a handful of Cheerios, and drove down to my beloved Alki beach trail. Cautiously and hesitantly—off I went.

The way my “running” has been going for the past two weeks has been like this—a few steps of normalcy, a twinge of pain on both sides of my ankle, followed by my ankle swelling so much I have no range of motion.

But yesterday? Oh, dear sweet yesterday…I was able to run. I’m not saying it was without pain, and I’m not saying it was flawless, but it happened and I finished with a stupid smile on my face and heightened hope for the possibility of the Chicago Marathon actually happening. I finished with a total of 6 miles, and while my ankle definitely felt it—a session of ice and an anti-inflammatories afterwards, I was good to go.

So encouraging…and you better believe I rode out my 6-mile-runner’s-high all day long.

So what now? Admittedly, I still am not 100% sure what to do about Chicago. My doctor gave me the go-ahead to try, and as he said, “The worst thing that can happen is that you won’t finish.” He said that doing the race would more than likely not make my ankle any worse—which I took with a grain of salt, but it was encouraging.

It’s really hard to figure out what to do from this point in terms of taper/testing my running/deciding if I should do the race. I want to continue to rest my ankle as much as I can, of course, but I also need to be sure that going to Chicago is going to be worth it. I certainly don’t want to DNF—but I would also like to know that if it happens, it would be around mile 18 as opposed to mile 7, you know?

So I need some advice…in terms of balancing taper and testing my ability to run…what would you do? My plan is to make the final call next Sunday, so I think I’ll go with my originally scheduled 12 easy miles on Saturday. If I feel like I can do that (and could keep going) I *think* I’ll go for it. 

Ahh this is such a weird/different approach to tapering. I am someone who operates with the mindset of, “You never know until you try,” but I also don’t want to fly all the way to Chicago to run less than half of the race.

We’ll see…but in the meantime, I would love any input you have on the matter!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

 

6 Reasons I’m Psyched for Winter Running

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I generally consider myself more of a sun-and-warmth person as opposed to a cold-and-snowy person. I really don’t dislike any seasons, in fact I like little things about them all, but there’s something that’s just so convenient about summer. It’s easier to dress for (sun dresses=one outfit wonder!), it’s easier to plan for, and it’s LIGHTER! I love the light, and the darkness of winter really starts to get to me after a while.

But, the one thing I love about the winter—besides Christmas and pea coats, of course—is THE RUNNING!

I adore running when it’s cold out, and I would choose running with tights and an ear warmer over running in a tank and spandos any day. I know there are a lot of differing opinions on this, and it’s not that I dislike running when it’s warm, there’s just something so satisfying about breaking the winter blues with some miles.

When I played soccer when I was younger, I remember preferring the games that were in the cold. Although I had to wear a turtleneck underneath my jersey and the sidelines were freezing, I can distinctly remember feeling faster and more agile when playing in the cold. This feeling is the same way I feel today about running in the cold—clearly something that never left!

Now, I know this isn’t science…according to the running scientists we run faster and more efficiently in cooler temperatures than warmer. And…duh. Keeping our internal temperature cooler helps elongate our exertion and not feel so drained from sweating (as much).

I definitely notice these effects of running when it’s cooler—but the reasons I love winter running have more to do with the overall package itself, as opposed to the physiology behind it.

With that, I give you…6 reasons why I’m PSYCHED for winter running.

1) Thumb holes. Just like nearly every other runner who doesn’t live in So.Cal or Florida…I’m a big fan of the thumb hole shirt revolution.

Just that little feature seems to add a whole new dimension of warmth—and I often can get away without gloves when I wear a thumbhole shirt. My favorite part, though, is actually when I can remove my thumbs from the loops and roll up the sleeves a bit. This part of a run always indicates that I’ve warmed up enough and gotten into a steady-enough rhythm. I love realizing that, and I love having a tangible indicator.

2) Speed. I notice a very distinct difference in my speed once the temperatures drop.

After I ran the Portland Marathon last year, took a few recovery weeks, and got back on the road again, I started realizing that my splits were dropping. I thought this might be a result of recovering and gaining strength from the marathon, but I’m pretty certain it had more to do with the fact that my training had all been done in the late summer, and I was now running in chillier November. Personally, I know I’m a faster runner when it’s a bit cooler—and I’m planning on focusing heavily on speed during the winter months (more on that in another post!).

3) Showers. I adore the feeling of a shower after a good run. In fact, I actually kind of dislike regular showers, because they aren’t as deliciously satisfying as those done post-run (don’t worry…I still take them…sometimes).

The best kind of showers, though, are the ones after a long, cold, run. I love feeling like I’m thawing out after being in the wind and the cold—it’s such a wonderful dichotomy of having experienced the chilly air and then plunging into a warm shower. I love it—this is perhaps one of my favorite things about running, besides the actually action itself 🙂

4) The quiet. This may all be in my head, but I always feel like winter mornings are so much more silent than the summer. You know?

Less birds chirping, less people around. Not that I dislike those things (obviously I like birds) but I l-o-v-e running when it feels completely quiet. No headphones, no traffic, no people. Just feet and breath (the cold air helps emphasize the breath part of this as well). I get the most jazzed and excited about a run when I walk out the door and I can’t hear a thing—quite contrary to a pump up song or war cry—I prefer the silence, which promises a peaceful, cathartic run with just my legs and my thoughts.

5) The oatmeal. You thought I was going to get all mystical for a minute there, didn’t you?

Much like the point about the hot showers—I LOVE a bowl of hot oatmeal after I run. Some people love waffles, some love mimosas, but I myself love nothing more than a huge bowl of oatmeal post-run, complete with all my staple fixings. However, when it’s warm out—hot food is the last thing I want, and for the past few months I’ve needed to reach for a less-than-thrilling smoothie or yogurt. Cold weather=more oatmeal=happy Robyn.

6) The laziness. Let’s get honest…the only thing most of us want to do after a long weekend run is lay on the couch all day.

The only movement we want to make is between the refrigerator and our cozy setup in front of the TV. Also, football season is during the winter—and I can’t speak for everyone on this—but sometimes I really just like hunkering down on a Sunday with BF to yell at the TV. The winter months cater to this type of behavior…whereas summer I don’t want to miss a minute of sunshine. So although typically I love to be out and about doing as much as possible, after a long run, give me my compression socks and my Snuggie. Actually…it’s not my Snuggie…you can guess who I steal it from, though.

So there you have it! A look at the main reasons I can’t wait to run this winter. I’m guessing it’s a little transparent that I’m also associating the winter with a healthy ankle…which I’ll admit, is helping the argument. But, overall, injury or no injury…I love winter running, and I can’t wait to break out my ear warmer and tights soon!

Now…which do you prefer, winter or summer running? 

My plan for now..

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First things first:

As if my Grandma wasn’t already the most beautiful, kind, elegant, witty, loving, etc. person I know (not exaggerating for the sake of granddaughter points, btw), she sent me something yesterday in the mail I thought I lost:

When we returned home after the Disneyland Half-Marathon, I couldn’t find my bib anywhere (BF and I both always keep ours!) and I was devastated.

Not only did it have a castle and my name on it, it was for a race that I felt SO good during. It may have been my slowest half ever, but the relaxed pace and the overall enthusiasm of the race made it oh-so-memorable. Needless to say, I was NOT happy when I thought I’d mistakenly thrown my bib out somehow.

Never fear, Grammy to the rescue. One car clean out and stamped envelope later—she brightened my spirits and helped assure me that I am not as bib-negligent as I thought.

THANKS GRAMMY!!

Moving on…my plan of attack.

Admittedly, I’m somehow still feeling hopeful about Chicago. I might be crazy, I might be delusional, but I prefer to call it general optimism. Something in my gut is telling me to not throw in the towel yet, and since I’m a big believer in intuition—I’m going with it.

Plus, I don’t know 100% yet if I am or am not racing. So, I might as well hold off disappointment until the actual decision-making time comes, right? Right.

(That right there was my mother’s voice lurking its way into my blog. How’d you get to be so wise mommy?)

Here’s where I’m at: I haven’t run at all since Saturday the 8th. A little counting tells me that that’s 11 days ago and exactly 30 days before the Chicago Marathon. Put it all together and we get…missing peak week of training, still not running, and still not repaired from my looming ankle pains.

Sounds like a recipe for absolutely not attempting a marathon in 2.5 weeks, according to basic common sense.

I, however, have batted away common sense for the time being, and instead have formulated a plan of attack, as well as a new approach to this race.

Step 1: Get healthy.

I have another doctor’s appointment tomorrow (seeing as Dr. Casual wasn’t exactly spot on with his “Aleve and ice” perscription), and I’m hoping to get a little bit better gauge of just what this is and what, if anything, I can do about it.

The good news is that my ankle has been feeling increasingly better everyday. I wake up in the mornings without pain, and aside from some stiffness and aches, it seems to be cooperating in the whole “get better” game. I’m icing, compressing, and Aleve-ing like a pro—and, fun fact, RICE actually sort of works.

I’d like to get away from the Aleve, though, and hopefully that’s what my new doctor can help with tomorrow. Going from taking no over-the-counter meds to taking 3-4 per day is a little much.

Step 2: Do what I can.

Luckily, I can still swim, bike, stair-step, etc. I’ve done the best I can to maintain my fitness while not aggravating the injury. Keeping some semblance of a training regimen in my life is really helping to both distract and comfort me from the fact that my running has derailed, and with any luck I won’t have any trouble reclaiming my running fitness.

The awkwardly photographed shot of a girl who finally got a good sweat on after Ankle Injury 2012 commenced.

Step 3: See what happens.

This largely depends on what the doctor says tomorrow and how well my healing goes, but my plan for Chicago right now is to make the call a week beforehand.

If my ankle is healed and I’m able to do some pain-free miles before the race—Lord help me—I’m going for it. I’m confident enough in my fitness and my experience as a runner to take on both the physical and mental challenges that would come with this endeavour. Now, don’t get me wrong, if it happens—it’s gonna take some luck, patience, and smart execution. But, I do believe that if I’m better, I’ll be able to gut it out.

Now, it is going to take a miracle to actually get me to the start line (and an even bigger one to get me to the finish). But, if the opportunity presents itself, I’ve rearranged any form of “goals” for this race. Since I would be coming off of injury, and since my training was derailed, my time goals would be not only slower than planned, but they’d be perhaps non-existant.

(Not sure of any of the tenses used right there.)

And it’s fine! I’ve said all along that my intent with this training cycle was to take it less seriously and have more fun. I went into Tacoma way too tightly wound, and as a result I unravelled in a dangerous whirl. I wanted to reclaim my run love with this training cycle, and these circumstances would really force me to own up to my original goal.

I’ll admit, when I saw the numbers on my Garmin ticking down throughout the weeks of training, I started to get sparkly thoughts in my head about time goals and certain qualifications.

But that can be for another time. My goals for now include making it to the Windy City, finishing the race, and soaking up the marathon atmosphere. I think that order of events would yield the best-case-scenario outcome.

However, first order of business is getting better.

I realize this post and my general mindset may seem a little far-fetched, but like I said—it ain’t over ’til it’s over.

I’ve accepted the fact that I might not be running the Chicago Marathon. But until then, I’m going to continue to try to get there—just as I have been for the past ten weeks.

Call me crazy (I sure have), but if I’m healthy and good to run on October 7th—I’ll be at the Grant Park start line, in Corral C—to be specific.

 

 

Zucchinis, Boflex, and High-Heels

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Monday! Party! Oh wait, that’s not right.

Greetings ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beginning of the week.

Since I got serious last Wednesday, and since I am avoiding talking about training at all costs, this post is going to be an entirely random array of musings on things in my life right now. Kind of like Friday Favorites (whoa, how long has that been?) but more like a lot of fluff that’s been filling my brain recently.

Thanks to my coworker, I am currently in possession of the biggest zucchinis ever made. Or grown? You know what I mean.

Photo taken next to mug and purse for scale purposes.

Totally awesome, right? I’m a huge zucch fan, so I was particularly excited about this gift. Best part? She brought me FOUR more of nearly an equivalent size. The problem, however, is that there are just two of us living in our household…and although I’m pretty sure it’s hard to OD on delicious zucchini, I don’t want to risk it.

So last night I made some zucchini bread (successfully, somehow), and so I’m thinking I’ll make an additional loaf or 5 and maybe freeze some of it? Has any ever done that?? I think maybe shredding and freezing could work.

Either way, zucchini party at my house this weekend, and it’s not even BYOZ.

(PS: Wouldn’t it be great if people brought you random inordinate amounts of items all the time? I would gladly take excess shampoo, peanut butter, or bobby pins off anyone’s hands.)

BF and I are gonna get jacked thanks to a new piece of furniture addition to our household:

Nasty feet necessary for scale, again.

Thanks to our handy dandy employment fitness refund deal, BF decided to buy these Boflex weights to have at home—FO FREE. Thanks, Company.

They are HUGE and can be adjusted to all kinds of different weight settings.

If my injury sits around too long, I’m planning on turning into a body builder right in our own living room while simultaneously watching episodes of  various teenager shows.

What, you don’t change into a t-shirt when you get home but keep your work pants on?

I wanted to wear a certain pair of pants (namely because they haven’t been worn every other day these past two weeks unlike my other pairs, see dirty pair above), but I needed to wear heels with them because they’re longer. Obvs, my ankle is a huge asshole right now so I understandably assumed heels would not be favorable.

Also, heels ALWAYS hurt my feet even when I’m not hurt, so why would I want to/attempt to wear them now? PS: Why do I own heels?

Moving on, low and behold—not only do these miracle shoes not hurt my ankle AT ALL, they make it feel better than regular shoes do! I think it’s because I’m landing different and my arch is staying in one place…but whatever it is, I’ll take it.

So, what I’m saying is, there might be a stiletto-clad marathon runner in Chicago on October 7.

On that note, I’m really not happy to report that not much progress has been made on the foot/ankle ordeal. It really blows, and I’m going back and forth between trying to stay calm and edging on tears. Today, I’m calm and somewhat realistic. This weekend, I literally sobbed while swimming. Which, by the way, is not too easy to pull off—however it has the advantage of people not seeing you.

Here’s my Chicago Marathon Training Week #10:

Ran 1/3 mile Saturday, limped 15 minutes home. Hated everyone.

That was all the running that happened, and it barely even happened. It sucks, and as optimistic as I’d like to be, I’m not really able to run at all right now—let alone run a marathon in less than three weeks.

GAH. Frustrating to say the least. I have another doctor’s appointment on Thursday, and I’m doing everything I can to alleviate the pain. It’s so tough though…I need to rest, but I also need to not let my fitness go away too much if there’s a chance I could race. Catch-22. However, although I’ve heard of people not finishing their training—I’ve hardly heard of someone not running for a month and then running their planned marathon.

This was my ankle after “running” Saturday. Can you guess which one hates me right now? And if you say anything about how horrible my toenail polish…….just, don’t.

Annoying, frustrating, sad. All of the above.

However, you never know. Bodies are weird, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned—you never know what to expect with this sport.

Also, sorry all of you with healthy legs, but I am currently cursing/hating on every last person I see out on a run. PLEASE APPRECIATE YOUR FUNCTIONALITY.

That’s all for today. My brother also arrived for COLLEGE IN SEATTLE this weekend and so my whole fam was here to play. It was just what I needed to distract me from my running sorrows—it couldn’t have been better timing. And aside from the pool bawl-fest, I think I farred pretty well all things considered.

Alki beach stroll on Friday night.

Mommy and me.

So classic. Freshman dorm rooms complete with RA decorated doors. I loved it and I wanted to go back to college.

I’ll keep you all updated, but now I need an opinion:

Would it be better to try to run the marathon in high heels, or not do anything for a month and then try and run?

Kidding—ish.

I’m more curious as to how much Aleve/ibuprofen I can pull off cramming into my system. But that kind of question would make you think I have a problem…which I don’t 🙂 promise.

Have a good day, kids.

Diagnosis and “Getting It”

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The best news of all: my ankle is not falling off.

And, according to my X-Rays and my highly optimistic Ortho-doc, I have no signs of stress fracture, and my bone structure is “ideal.” Essentially, this was equivalent to hearing, “Robyn, you have perfect hair, teeth, and generally perfect everything in life.”

Good bones=happy runner.

To bring you up to speed, after many days in a row of running, peak marathon training mileage, and a very unhappy 20-miler-turned-17-miler, my ankle was in a lot of pain for no obvious reason. I was limping, I went to Urgent Care (fail), and I panicked about how I could actually pull off a marathon in a month.

Obviously, I wanted to call in a pro ASAP.

The diagnosis I received at my 9 am appointment yesterday morning went something like this:

“Suck it up. Load up on Aleve. Keep running. You’re a huge wimp and don’t understand that running is painful sometimes. Why are you here?”

Okay, it was *actually* closer to this (although the above is in essence what I heard):

“I think you’ll be fine. Get back out there, keep up the pain killers, heavy on the icing, and tell me if it gets worse.”

If you’re thinking, “Wow Robyn, that’s pretty much what every runner would want to hear in your scenario…so did you jump up and down in excitement and make out with the dude while lacing up your Brooks?”

No kissing or lacing up, but yes—you’re right. This is an ideal diagnosis. Particularly for someone like me, who would be grumpy with even the mention of “toning it down” or “taking it easy.”

However, while I am relieved—I’m also going to be a little more careful than Dr. “All Runners Love Me” told me to be.

You see, the reason I went to the doctor was to determine what this pain is not as opposed to what it is. Hopefully, the diagnosis was right and this isn’t something serious (i.e. stress fracture, etc.) BUT, that doesn’t mean that it’s not something to take care of.

With every little ache and pain, we runners spend so much time agonizing over, “What is this?” “When will it go away?” “Can I run through it?” I’m a HUGE culprit of doing this (perhaps THE culprit), no thanks to the magical powers of the interwebs, but here’s the fact of the matter:

If something hurts, you shouldn’t run on it.

I realize my circumstances are a bit different, considering I have 26.2 miles of running to do on October 7, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to try and be bigger than the pain. I’m fortunate enough to have done enough training that waiting out this issue a little while longer (yes, longer than even the “professional” said to do) won’t do much damage. In fact, continuing to run on my questionable ankle would probably undo the strides I’ve made so far in my training.

So I’m sitting it out for a little while longer. I’m definitely not going to pretend that I’m completely calm and collected about this, or that not running is anything but easy.

I’m back-and-forth between being sensible and being irrational. But, I’ve been here before—and I know that the truest test of an athlete’s will and determination are the times that set them back. So yesterday, when I was at work going back and forth as to what I would do for my workout later on, I stopped myself right in my tracks.

And here’s what I asked myself: Is delaying the healing process, which will ultimately get me to the start line in Chicago, for a random Tuesday sweat session worth it?

Absolutely not.

So, I defied my habitual inclination of working out my stress away, and here I am today—no less in shape, in tact, nor capable of living. I am, however, with a more rested and better-feeling ankle.

{See Mommy, I’m growing up.}

I’m realizing that the way we handle injury corresponds directly to the reasons we run in the first place.

The fact of the matter is this: I don’t run to hide my feelings. I don’t run to justify the things I like to eat. I don’t run to prove anything to anyone.

I run because it’s what I love to do more than anything else, and sometimes that love needs to be shown in the bad times and not just the good.

Run love is not just about logging miles, clocking lower times, and registering for races. Run love is also about give and take. We take a lot from this sport—the endorphins, the pride, the toned legs, and the runner’s highs. But how much do we give to it? We give our early mornings and cash in shoe replacment…but I’m realizing that giving back to this sport should be about respecting it—and our bodies—more than anything else.

Running is tough, running is hard, and running wears us down. In order to give to running as much as we get from it—sometimes we need to back off. We don’t prove anything by running through pain or by exercising when we know we should be resting. All those things do is show that we’d rather let this sport abuse us rather than build us up.

If you hadn’t guessed, the “we” pronoun I’ve been using is a lot of me talking to myself. You, dear reader, just got to come along for the ride.

So what is this very long-winded explanation of my injury trying to say? Well, I think for the first time—I’m getting it. I’m getting the give-and-take of running, I’m getting the “rest” thing, and I’m getting that the truest test of myself as a runner comes from how I handle the lower points.

So I’m taking it easy, I’m hoping for the best, and I’m thankful that I’ve *mostly* been able to learn something from my former habits that resulted in mistakes.

Chicago Marathon Training Week #9

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Hello.

Here’s last week for you…let’s see if you can spot where the big scary hiccup occurred:

M: 9 m run slow

T: 10.2 m run ~8:15 avg. pace

W: 7 m run, no watch + lifting

T: 10.4 m run, 8:20 avg. pace

F: REST

S: 17 m run

S: Yoga

Total: 53.6 miles

Don’t see the hiccup? Well, allow me to backtrack to Thursday, where I said I had a “20 mile long run” on tap for the weekend.

That 17 miler up there? That right there was the first time I have ever cut a run short—and no, not because of fatigue, boredom, or a time crunch.

My would-be 20 mile run turned into 17 because I was in too much pain to finish it. That not-so-significant shin split I mentioned last week turned into a very-significant-holy-shit-hurts pain in my entire left ankle/foot pretty much all at once during my run on Saturday morning. I tried to tough it out, but after a few miles of stopping to alleviate the pain every mile—I knew it was best to cut it off. Thankfully a nice lady with a puppy let me use her phone when I asked (I choose the strangers I approach based on their pets, btw). She was probably a bit frightened by the sweaty, salty, and nearly-in-tears girl hobbling down the side walk—but she complied. Bless her.

As soon as BF picked me up, I lost it. I don’t really need to explain to you all the frustrations I was/am feeling about this. I was in Urgent Care yesterday morning after spending Saturday unable to walk, and I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor tomorrow morning.

Nothing like prompt medical attention.

I’m trying to not jump to worst case conclusions right now (although I spent a lot of time already doing that). Many thanks to my best friend Anna, BF, and Nicole for calming me down a bit. BF has been a superstar through this also (I think he more than anyone knows how Robyn with Injury goes), and following Saturday’s breakdown he immediately helped remedy my sobbing by making me pancakes, attending to my every ice, Aleve, and compression needs, and accepted his tear-and-sweat stained girlfriend for who she was.

Now that the storm has passed, I’m going to let the pros decide how I should handle this situation.

Luckily, since whatever-this-is happened, my ankle has consistently felt better fairly, and it seems that the more I walk—the better it feels (indicative that it’s probably not a bone thing). But like I said.. I’ll be leaving my fate up to science and X-Rays and stuff.

So how am I feeling right now? Admittedly, hopeful—since it is feeling better and seems to continue to feel better. But, the speed in which this thing came on really scares me, and I’m really going to have a tough time swallowing a diagnosis that not only eliminates Chicago—but eliminates my Fall 2012 running career.

I’m feeling a lot of things right now— frustrated (3 injuries in 6 months—AWESOME), sad, pissed, pessimistic, optimistic, relieved, etc.

I’ll explain it all in another post—because I’m doing my best to not jump to conclusions (no thanks to Dr. Google) and allow no news to be good news. At least until tomorrow morning.

Will fill you all in soon.

Cross your fingers, wish upon a star, and break some wishbones (yikes, no pun intended) for me that this isn’t the worst. I’ve really been very careful in terms of training, resting, and mileage—and I’m more than a little bothered right now with where my bff running has landed me.