It’s Friday people, which means two things:
1) I have actively abandoned all good intentions to pack a breakfast or lunch and instead just buy something instead (it never fails…every. single. week.)
2) It’s time for a list!
do you see how my subject matter and form matched one another right there? I’m a visual rhetoric genius.
We’re going to do the opposite of Friday Favorites today and take a look at some of the things I do not like. And not just that…the things I don’t like that apparently every female seems to just love.
Let me preface this by saying that I’m not trying to act like I’m exceptionally unique or different. Because I’m not. I’m a very stereotypical, boring girl—right down to my weakness for chocolate and my love of quoting Kristen Wiig. However, I have noticed that there are a lot of things that everyone is totally OMG OBSESSED with…and I’m like “meh.” And in fact, there are many popular female things that I actually really, really dislike.
*Warning: This post may offend. I’m merely stating my own opinion, and I realize that my views may very well be in the minority. Sue me.*
Without further ado…
1) Running skirts
I’m sorry. I just can’t do it.
I don’t get it, I don’t like it, and I have zero interest in ever partaking in this “running attire.” It’s not that I think they’re necessarily unflattering or ugly…most people look fine enough in them…I think it’s more the principal of the matter. To me, running is an athletic and very non-glamorous activity, and I prefer to dress the part—which does not, IMO, include wearing a skirt. Skirts and dresses are great—for after a run and after I’ve removed my sweaty shorts.
Sorry, but skirts to me are for cheerleaders (and with all due respect, I know you all need the leg room for splits and kicks and whatnot), but in the sport of running, your legs don’t need the same freedom.
And sorry, again, this definitely included sparkle skirts. And running dresses? Don’t even get me started.
Maybe this has something to do with the time I was force fed a chocolate Gu at the end of a marathon, or maybe it’s because I have a sensitive stomach, but frankly…I can think of few things less appetizing than these packs of flavored syrup.
Blech. Even thinking about them makes me queezy. I realize there aren’t a ton of fuel options available, hence why a lot of people use this stuff—but even regular Swedish fish probably do the same thing as a regular Gu. And would definitely taste much more delicious.
3) Neon shoes
You know how bright pink and orange and yellow shoes are all the rage this year?
Not into it. And apparently I’m the only one, because most people can’t get enough of them. It’s not that I dislike bright colors—although my bland wardrobe might suggest otherwise—but I just prefer for my running shoes to be very simple.
And yea yea…the Pure Connects I wear are relatively bright, however they are definitely the tamest of the options available. If it were up to me, every running shoe I buy would be white with a sprinkle of blue on them somewhere.
Alas…functionality trumps looks in the running shoe world, therefore I am sure before too long I’ll be wearing neon pink racing flats and you all can have the last laugh. For now, I’ll stick to my simple white and turquoise babies.
4) Fans in the gym
In every spin class I go to, I will actively seek a spot in the room that is shielded from the incessant, annoying fan that everyone seems to covet. I am one of the few people who opts for the instructor to not turn the fan on when they offer, and I grit my teeth whenever everyone whoops and cheers for it.
I don’t know what it is, but nothing bothers me more than simulated cold air blowing in my face while spinning. One of the best parts of spin class is all the SWEATING that happens, and I hate when that experience is hindered by a fan. Maybe I’m just a light sweater, and maybe I’m just a first-world-problem crybaby (truth), but I’ll maintain my fan-hate forever.
Big, sweaty, air-blocking men…you are my favorite spinners to sit behind.
5) Plain yogurt
I’ve tried so hard with this one. I know you can put plain yogurt in just about anything in the world—from smoothies to pancakes to baked goods that would probably taste much better with butter—but I just can’t stand the sour, bland taste of regular plain yogurt. Give me all the strawberry, blueberry, and pomegranete you’ve got…but keep that nothing-flavor goop for yourselves.
And “regular tart” froyo? Vom.
6) Coconut water
If you do anything even marginally athletic…from just occasionally going to the gym to running back-to-back marathons, this new trend has undoubtedly been pimped hard to you. Electrolytes! Healthy! Hydration! OMG SO REFRESHING!
Maybe my palate is really just that unrefined, but I think this stuff tastes like a dirty sock that was soaked in water for a few days and then refrigerated.
7) Fuel Belts
Again, I know this is a personal preference thing. But if there’s one thing I can’t stand while running, it’s the feeling that something is weighing me down or interfering. Sometimes even just my Garmin and iPod SHUFFLE feels like too much. I tried wearing a fuel belt that someone lent me ONCE, and it bothering me so much I had to take it off, hide it under a bush, and come back for it later.
I suppose I admire anyone who can pull off fast, efficient running with these things. To me, especially in a race with lots of fuel stations, they’re completely unnecessary. Keys and fuel in your shorts’ pocket, hand-held water bottle if necessary, all good.
I’m really not a big hater, in fact I’m much more of a cheerleader than anything else, but sometimes when you’re surrounded by all the bells and whistles of the most popular things of the time—you need to let loose some steam. And who knows, my opinions on these things could change. This time next year, I could be sitting in the front of a fan during spin while wearing a running skirt and fueling with Gu and coconut water. You have my permission to call out my hypocrisy.
But for now, I prefer to maintain my stance on these “all the rage” trends.
But now I’m really curious…
How do you feel about these things? Love? Hate? Want to start an anti-plain yogurt/froyo club with me? Want to throw rocks at me for hating on the running skirt? It’s okay…I’m bad at being a girl sometimes.