Category Archives: Facing Fears

Be Clean

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Cleansing is a word we hear quite often nowadays. It has a variety of meanings, both literal and figurative, however to me, cleansing ultimately means a detoxification of our bodies and minds.

We can never be completely clean, and yet we are constantly in search of the things in life that will purify our systems and clean up the gunk that has accumulated. This longing has existed for thousands of years, all over the world, and can be interpreted in so many different ways.

In religions, cleansing is done through prayer, confession, meditation, and baptism.

Exercise and activity encourage our bodies to sweat out its impurities and heighten our senses through increased endorphin release.

In a dietary sense, there is an endless amount of information on foods that remove toxins, aid digestion, and eradicate gunk— all for the purpose of reaching a certain level of cleanness.

Thanks to the brilliant minds of programmers and techies, nearly all aspects of our Western lives have been regimented in a way that we have everything we could possibly need at our finger tips, within a moment’s notice. And it’s all in the name of keeping things clean, neat, and un-messy.

Now, I don’t need to ask why we are constantly in need of cleansing, because the answer is obvious and hasn’t changed for the thousands of years that humans have been around:

Dirt, in it’s figurative and real form, unsettles us; it distracts us from living our lives simply and without clutter. Dirt comes in all different guises: stress, angst, back aches, fast food, depression, addiction, bags under our eyes, laundry piles, smoking, laziness…and countless other things that we spend so much energy trying to rid ourselves of.

I have come to learn a few things about the dirt we accumulate, and I believe that despite all the measures we take to pray, eat, sweat, and sweep away all the impurities…we aren’t actually aware of why those impurities exist in the first place.

No one likes the dirt they constantly carry around, and although we are constantly presented with ways to get rid of it all, it seems that actually freeing ourselves is easier said than done. It’s not that we don’t know how to go about doing it, and it’s not that we’re short on resources to help us. I have found, however, that we are much too focused on the when as opposed to the how  in terms of cleansing our lives.

“When I do yoga regularly, I will be more stress-free.”

“When I organize my closet, I’ll donate things to Good Will.”

“When I lose 10 pounds, I’ll start dating.”

“When I make more money, have kids, pay off my debt, take up painting, and become a certified Pilates instructor, then I’ll be happy.”

Sound like anyone you know? Sound like you?

Personally, I am all-too-guilty of playing the “When this…then this” game with myself. It’s a slippery slope, and unfortunately it’s very easy to hide behind. When we get an idea of how our lives could be if we made these few, “simple” changes, we achieve a temporary comfort that —unfortunately—clouds the part of our brain that actually decides to act. Procrastination is an all too powerful being, and when we simply taste the thought of better things to come, we often settle. We have the option of making things better, therefore ultimately it will all be okay.

But what happens to the whole doing process? How often do we tell ourselves that we will do this, this, and this in order to clean up our lives—and then a year later we are still stuck in our piles of dirt?

I promise I have a point, and I’m getting to it.

There are two things I believe we, as humans, tend to miss when we imagine the clean lives we want to live.

1) What are we actually doing to achieve our cleansing goals?

2) Why is the dirt there in the first place?

These two questions, I promise, are a lot more difficult to answer then, “What do you want to change about your life?”

When we are able to face these two questions head on, we have the ability to make our goals—and the means in which to make them real—much more tangible. When we realize, “Okay, I’ve wanted to start reading more for years now, except I spend every night after work glued to the television until bedtime,” we recognize the problem, and therefore the solution becomes much more transparent.

The same is true, I believe, for much more complicated issues. I realize it sounds idealistic and easier-said-than-done, which it definitely is, but I encourage you to at least try it out. Next time you’re thinking of a way your life would be better and cleaner, ask yourself the two questions above. I think you’ll find that when you’re honest about yourself about why the impurity is there, a much more feasible solution will present itself to you. And if you already know why the dirt exists, admit to yourself exactly what you’re doing to clean it up.

Holding ourselves accountable is perhaps the most important step in leading the lives we want to live.

These thoughts were inspired by a run yesterday (where all my clearest thinking is done), and it was a run that exemplified cleansing both externally and internally. The entire run was done through a decently heavy rainfall, which cleansed both the snow from the sidewalks and all the sweat from my face. It was refreshing (once I got over being totally wet) and ignited the fantastic primal feeling of running.

The run was also cleansing psychologically. I started the run in a very bad mood, and although I obviously prefer to run with a clear and happy head, I knew that running would shake out the bad feelings. I realized, as my anger and distress washed away with the rain, that running didn’t necessarily get rid of our bad, dirty thoughts (no…not that kind of dirty thoughts), but actually quite the opposite.

Running, for me at least, brings my negative thoughts to the surface of my brain and forces me to pick them apart. I become confrontational with them, as opposed to submissive.

We are hard-wired to push bad thoughts into the back of our brain, where they eat away at our subconscious until they completely exhaust us. By facing these thoughts head-on, as I do when I run, they lose their power and we can see them for what they simply are—dirt.

I do not always feel 100% better about the not-so-good things in my life after a run; honestly, nothing has the ability to completely wipe our palates clean. However, because I am able to analyze why the dirt is there, I can be more honest about the things I can do to clear it away. Honesty is something we are constantly told to give to others, but we must also remember the importance of internalizing it for ourselves.

The first step to cleansing—in any sense of the word—is to allow ourselves to confront the truth, no matter how grimy and unpleasant it might be. After we inspect the mess that’s been made, we can begin to understand the tools and steps necessary to clean it up.

Question of the Day: How do you picture a Clean life? What kind of mess are you are trying to get rid of?

Sweating the Sweet Stuff

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On Saturday morning during spin class, as I was sweating like an obese man dressed in sweats walking through Death Valley, I was thinking about the difference between vacation time and our normal routines—namely, the difference in our fitness/food habits. Obviously when we’re on vacation (specifically around the holidays), it’s natural for us to want to relax and ease into a more indulgent routine. And rightfully so, as vacation is a time for relaxing and partaking in things we wouldn’t do on a regular basis (i.e. sleeping in, having a drink or 4, and actively seeking out 3 different desserts in one night).

Yes, this was me at Christmas.

And it’s fine…because we’re on vacation, and no vacation lasts forever.

However, personally I get a bit stressed out thinking about the lack of discipline that comes with vacations. I know it seems a bit counter-intuitive to the whole idea of a vacation, but because I’m normally very active and eat healthfully, the thought of derailing from that routine worries me. Once I’m on vacation and can loosen up a bit, I’m normally thankful for the break, but I always wish that the thought of taking time off from my regimented schedule wouldn’t be so frightening.

To help describe my point a bit more clearly, this was my brain during spin yesterday:

“This is seriously hard…I’m glad I can still keep up after being gone for so long.”

“Wait, didn’t you have a heart attack that taking time off would ruin every ounce of fitness you have?”

“And weren’t you stressed that all the wonderful holiday goodies you would consume would all of a sudden balloon you up to the point that none of your clothes would fit?”

“Yea, yea…irrational.”

“Of course it was irrational! You spend 98% of the time trying your hardest to stay in shape, why the hell should a week of fun undo any of that?”

“Ew gross, I think your earlobes are dripping”

Okay, that was a bit unstructured, but here’s my point: If you try your best to stay marginally in shape and healthy, then there’s no reason to worry over the occasional extra  drinks and desserts. I am constantly back-and-forth in my own brain with this battle, and I think a lot of people (mainly girls) are susceptible to this exact same mind game. We get down on ourselves before we even indulge for fear that we’ve lost all sense of discipline and are somehow weaker because we’ve “given in.”

Here’s the reality: Life is too short to beat ourselves up over these insignificant things. Our society—namely women’s magazines, commercials, realty shows, etc.—perpetually bombards us with the messages of: “Lose that Last 5!” “Think Skinny!” and “How to Resist Temptation,” all of which might as well say, “You Better Say No to Everything Containing Carbs, Sugar, and Fat if You Ever Want to Feel Pretty!”

To be blunt, I think this is bullshit, and I’m so afraid that this is the understanding of health and beauty that women today are being fed.

Hey Women's Health, Self, Fitness Mag, etc...screw you and your vodka-and-soda water only preaching.

I completely understand that this country is facing a severe obesity epidemic, and I completely agree that the U.S.’s understanding of healthy portions and food is seriously distorted. In no way am I undermining the efforts to make our country healthier, but I believe there is a huge difference between promoting balance and promoting deprivation.

Balance is the single most important thing in regards to being happy and healthy, in my opinion. We are human, therefore symmetry is key; too much laziness and not enough exercise will eventually deplete our bodies and spirits—and the exact opposite is also true.

The same thing goes for food—when we concentrate solely on being so healthy that every single thing we put in our mouths is predetermined and allows no room for spontaneity, we lose the joy of treating ourselves and we become a hollow, uptight, and (sorry) boring person who only cares about carrots and calories.

I say these things from a very experienced-based standpoint, as I have been all of these people: I have been so concentrated on exercising that my body gave up on me. I have been so focused on only consuming wholesome things that I couldn’t enjoy ice cream or drinks or Chipotle outings with friends. I have been such a dessert addict that I’d go to bed with a marginal stomach ache every night because I could never just resist the temptation.

These are all versions of myself that at one time or another have overtaken my sense of balance. Each of them tends to creep up every so often, however I have come to a place where I know myself well enough to know that investing all my energy into being the perfect athlete or the perfect eater only sucks away all other passions in my life.

I consider this a couple's shot. Sorry BF, Chipotle and I have a special bond.

That brings me to the title of this post: Sweating the Sweet Stuff. And I am going highlight why it is important that we don’t sweat the sweet stuff while we do sweat the sweet stuff.

“Say, wha?” You say…

Well, the term “sweat” here is a homonym.

Don’t Sweat the Sweet Stuff…

Guess what? You live in an age where cookies, beer, chips & guac, etc. are going to pop up—and that’s because these things go hand-in-hand with celebrations and a festive atmosphere. With that said, it is okay to eat these things. Instead of spending the before, during, and after of a party hating yourself for considering, indulging, and then regretting the choices to eat these things—how about trying to push aside the berating qualms of society for just one night, and enjoy yourself. I am willing to bet that not only will you have a much more enjoyable time, but you will also find you are more likely to quit while you’re ahead. Deprivation activates an animalistic/binge mentality: If you chronically deprive yourself from certain foods, they then become so coveted and idealistic that they hold a certain power over you.

I am, again, speaking from experience…when I get too absorbed in staying 100% healthy, the thought of every possible bad-for-me food starts to take over my brain: Note: dreaming about donuts.

And this is ridiculous. Food should never, ever be a primary focus for your life.

Fact of the matter: Humans need to eat, point blank. It’s not something you can shy away from if you want to survive, and because it’s necessary—why should you let all your energy be consumed by it? Would you spend all your time focusing on when you need to blink or breath? No…and that’s because it’s something you can’t get around.

You can, however, focus your energy on how to achieve balance. You cannot survive without fruits and vegetables, and your body will revolt without them, but you will also go crazy if you are the person at every party who says “No” to everything offered, sips lemon water, and watches everyone else eat chocolate and drink wine without you. Also, you might notice your invitations to such events starts to decline…

Please note: I am in no way advocating a free pass for consistently binging without rhyme or reason. Remember, this is about balance. Wholesome foods are essential to our well-being, and above all else I believe that everyone should be educated on what we need to eat to stay healthy.

I am simply trying to speak against the notion that we should feel guilty about every time we “slip” from our healthy regimes. If you spend 80% of the time focusing on eating well, then I personally give you permission to indulge the other 20% of the time. The healthiest, happiest people I have ever known are the people that say yes to both apples and apple pie, running and rest days, spinach and Sirah, I think you get…

Do Sweat the Sweet Stuff

One of the best parts about staying active is the allowance of treats it provides. No, an extra mile every day doesn’t equal an extra cookie, but….kinda. Excess exercise equates additional calorie burn, therefore necessitating excess calorie consumption. Ideally, this will come in the form of additional nutrient dense foods. However, as athletes, we have the advantage of needed extra food. This is two-fold; while training, we need more food, and because we are inevitably going to sweat everything out, there is less pressure on us when we do have chocolate for dinner.

"I am running, but I am thinking about bagels."

With this said, finding a balance in terms of health is much more attainable when you incorporate exercise. You will have more energy, and your body will help you know exactly what it needs to stay happy. One of the reasons that I love training is because I become very in tune with what my body needs in terms of nutrients. Frequent activity not only boosts physical health in every way possible, but it will also help in tweaking your guilty mindset about “bad foods.”

That said, I would like state that I absolutely despise when people use the words “bad” and “good” when it comes to health and food. For the most part, we all know which foods are better for us than others, and we’ve been taught which foods are supposed to evoke a feeling of guilt within us. When we declare that we have been “bad” or “good,” we are immediately allowing our propaganda-filled brains to decide our self-worth for us.

Instead, congratulate yourself for making a healthy choice, remember how good your body felt, and establish a way to maintain a regular routine of it. Similarly, if you happen to have had one-too-many licks of cookie dough, forgive yourself, know that they were delicious, and recognize that they will not make you immediately gain 5 pounds. And if you really feel that bad about it, go for a half-hour run. I can almost guarantee that your guilt will evaporate—not because you know you burned it all off, but because running evaporates all negative thoughts and makes you feel awesome.

Another couple's shot. Cookie dough and I are a match made in heaven.

Admittedly, I am far from mastering the mentality of being in a completely happy balance. It is a daily battle for me, and there are times when I feel completely consumed by the negative thoughts that I have admonished in this post. And that’s because I’m human—and I simply can’t help it sometimes.

But I’m trying. And because I have been through so many different phases of figuring out the whole “healthy” thing, I believe I have established a basic methodology of how to be my happiest. I do not always obey my own beliefs, and I have to be very conscientious about not slipping into the grips of societal gimmicks, but these are the truths that I believe to wholly encompass the secrets of happiness.

So don’t sweat the sweet stuff, and I think you’ll realize that once you rid yourself of the guilt of eating the occasional treat, you will regain control over your confidence and ultimately strike a happy balance.

 

 

Bests, Worsts, and Scary Things.

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So yesterday’s post got a little serious—I know, I’m sorry for my susceptibility to getting all  existential in my writing (the English major in me lives on).

Anyway, if you read yesterday’s post, you know that I think we should take advantage of the New Year, and I personally intend to use the opportunity to highlight some of my goals.

I use the term goals instead of resolutions because most of them have already been in existence for a little while. My specific running goals were detailed in my running wish list, and I’m planning on prioritizing those throughout this year’s races and training. I do have an overarching resolution, however, that I feel encompasses several areas in my life—both running and otherwise.

But first, I’ll being with a quick New Year’s recap. BF and I spent the evening visiting with some of our friends from high school, and it was low key but all-around a good time. We all went to the fancy shmancy hotel in our hometown and pretended to be upper-crust socialites that can afford $10 drinks and lavish suites. Hint: We can’t. Instead, we lounged in the overly-manicured hotel bar/lobby/hang out area and shared our best and worsts of 2011.

If you’re interested, I would say that I had 2 Bests of 2011. Yea, yea I know it’s cheating, but ties are allowed in your own list-making rules.

But I’ll start with my Worst of 2011, because I like ending on a good note. The worst part of 2011 was being injured for 3 months, completely unable to run and even walk correctly. I had full-fledged gimp status from March to June, and let’s just say in the beginning I was not happy about it. I cried, I was angry, I was lost. In the end, though, this worst turned into a very important lesson for me, and the harshness of the situation turned out to be bittersweet. I am now a more careful, smart, and balanced runner—and it took a humbling and disabling experience for me to reach these new understandings about running. So yea, it was a worst, but fortunately I was able to make the most out of a crappy situation.

The beginning of the end. Days before the death of my hip flexor.

Now onto happy things:

My first Best of 2011 was officially moving into a place with BF. Sure, we started living together toward the end of 2010, however in July 2011 we signed an official lease together, bought furniture together, the whole real-world-relationship shebang. It was great and a true highlight.

Look! We are Seattle residents!

The other Best somewhat goes without saying—running my first marathon.

You've probably never seen this photo before, right?

Two years ago, I would have laughed in your face if you asked if I could run a marathon, or even a half-marathon for that matter. Even months before signing up, I felt that a marathon was for the “other” runners, and I was content with the 13.1 distance. However, after recovering from my injury, I realized that only sticking with the 13.1 distance was really playing it safe. I knew I could go further, and I knew that if I worked at it enough I could build to doing a full marathon. Also, I knew that following a strict, regimented schedule would help me from overdoing it and abusing my running as I had been before.

So I went for it, and it was amazing. The training was intense, as were the nerves and apprehension leading into the race, but there has not been anything more rewarding in my life than seeing the “Mile 26” marker and mustering all my strength to sprint to the finish line.

So what’s next?

Well, inspired from the marathon and my overarching quest toward expanding my horizons, I’ve decided that this year will be all about alleviating the things that scare me.

No, I won’t be re-watching The Ring or visiting graveyards, however I will be facing head-on the things in my life that I either avoid, shy away from, or simply ignore based on the fact that they are hard or daunting. I find that too often there are things in my life that I settle with simply based on the fact that they are comfortable and easy. A simple example would be driving my car down the massive hill by my house because running up it at the end of my run is simply too hard.

A bigger example would be deciding to spend my entire weekend at home instead of calling my friends and making plans, because sitting on my couch and perfecting my hermit status is easier than mustering up the energy to go out.

{Dexter, you do not help with this habit}

The fact is, in each of these examples, I know myself and I know that taking the harder, less-convenient option is almost always much more rewarding. When I complete a long, brutal hill, I feel much more satisfied in my run overall. When I actually go out with my friends (whom, mind you, I adore) and spend some quality social time, I am a much more well-rounded person and frankly happier overall.

When we are able to identify the things in our lives that we do based on comfort and routine, we can recognize that there is an element of apprehension and curiosity missing. And understandably, because facing the unknown as opposed to the familiar is typically the much easier choice. However, when we acknowledge our fears and purposefully face them, we are given a rejuvenating sense of accomplishment. These fears can be monumental or miniscule, however opting for the more challenging course gives us the opportunity to expand our experiences beyond that which is comfortable. Comfort is good, however we cannot grow or learn without reaching beyond our safe zones.

I look at this “resolution” to face the things that scare me as more of an overall mind shift. I might be able to get up and get sweaty every morning, but when it comes to laziness and taking the easy way out I am also a master. I want to get rid of this mentality; I know myself well enough to know that sticking to the mundane, simple routines of life do not stimulate my need for new experiences. I know that if I can be intentional about facing the things that I’m scared of, I will begin to establish a greater understanding of my strengths, my weaknesses, and my overall potential.

2012, fearlessness is the name of the game.

Gah, got serious again. Something about the New Year is getting to me apparently. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading, and I highly encourage you to think about the things you’re afraid of and how you can overcome them. Because I guarantee—you can.

Question: What scares you? 

 

Hello, Twenty-Twelve.

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Welcome to 2012! I realize it’s really just another Sunday, but for me the 1st of the year always seems to feel like the beginning of something. Call it my personal susceptibility to general holiday hoopla, however I feel that there is something a bit more substantial to New Year’s Day than any regular Hallmark money maker.

And let’s get real here, just how many New Year’s cards can they really sell?

To me, New Year’s Day and the onset of a new year in general symbolizes more than champagne hangovers, fireworks, and crooning Auld Lang Syne. There is something very tangible and concrete to me about the passing of one year into another; whether we want to relish in the year we’ve had or run as fast as we can into a new beginning, there is an overarching sense of opportunity in the air. I love the word opportunity—it holds within in so much potential for growth, excitement, and new experiences.

Certainly, I wholly believe that if you are in need of a change or if you’re looking for a reason to improve upon your life, there is no time like the present. I don’t think there’s any reason really to wait until the “New Year’s excuse” comes around to make life-altering decisions. Unfortunately, looking for an excuse to make a change doesn’t necessarily yield to best results in my experience. However, despite the fact that I believe self-improvement can and should exist all year, that does not negate the fact that the transition from one year into another presents us with a great chance for reflection.

Because of the concreteness of a year, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8760 hours, however you choose to measure it, the ability to partition our triumphs, struggles, and everything in between seems to be easier.

I don’t look at New Year’s in the sense of, “Okay, now that there is a new calendar to put up—everything in my life is going to magically change for the better.” However, I do believe that the New Year indicates that there is a page turning, whether we’d like it to our not, and it begs the question, how will we respond?

Certainly, change happens year round, but when we are able to look in retrospect at the year behind us, I find that deciphering the lessons and experiences we’ve had becomes more accessible. Therefore, we have a beautiful opportunity to take what we’ve learned and allocate it toward the year in front of us.

I encourage you to look at the best parts of 2011, and take the time to pick apart exactly why those parts were so good. If we can look at memorable circumstances in their entirety, as in the events before, during, and after, we can become that much closer to defining exactly what we need in our lives to be happy.

The same thing goes for the opposite. If there was a part of 2011 that wasn’t so good, try and figure out what contributing factors existed that made the time less favorable. Certainly, unplanned bad things happen without warning, and we should look at what we learned from those unfortunate circumstances and figure out how we can handle the next obstacle. However (and I’m saying this from personal experience) there are also bad times that weren’t tied to any one particular event. Certainly, I found little things at the time to blame, but ultimately I know that there was a conglomeration of little mishaps that led me into a negative space. Looking back, I know that those bad times were due to some circumstantial reasons, but also due to reasons within my control. By recognizing these self-inflicted short-comings, I can be wary of them in the upcoming year and hopefully avoid them by being more proactive.

All in all, I believe in the power of New Year’s. Resolutions can be cheesy, and often times they fade in time, but I truly think there is something progressive and important about our ability to consider changes. Turning the page into a new year forces us to consider what could be; new goals to accomplish, habits to break and make, and general nuances of everyday life that can be tweaked to better our day-to-day happiness. A resolution can be as monumental as completing your list of 14ers to climb, or as simple as adding a piece of fruit to your diet every day, but no matter what suits you—I leave you with one piece of wisdom: It’s a lot easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than to think your way into a new way of acting.

{thanks for that one, Mom 🙂 }

In other words, instead of concentrating all your resolution-energy on thinking about how to go about it, how your life will be better because of it, and how many people you can tell about it, just do it. I’m not intending to get all Nike-simplistic about this, but the fact of the matter is even if you’re apprehensive or unsure about your resolution becoming a reality—your time will be much more worthwhile if it’s spent living the way you’d like to as opposed to worrying or planning how to do it.

Your resolution is to run half-marathon this year? Instead of worrying about how you’ll ever run 13.1 miles when you haven’t run in years, how about you channel that energy in putting on running shoes and going out for just 20 minutes? You can walk, run, skip, whatever—but the fact is that you will undoubtedly spend that amount of time (if not more) stressing about whether or not you can do it.

{Aren’t I super creative with my resolution examples?}

Here’s a secret: You can do just about anything. I believe that whole heartedly. The real question is not whether you can or you can’t, but will you? There’s a reason why “when there’s a will there’s a way” is such a popular motivation quote. Sure, mantras are cheesy, but this one is absolutely true in my opinion—and when we focus more on our inherent will to make something happen as opposed to our potential for failure, our goals become more under our control. If you want something bad enough, and if you understand that the best rewards necessitate discipline, then there should be nothing stopping you from taking action.

Please know that these are words that I have to tell myself every day. I often times doubt myself, question my goals, and deliberate for days, weeks, months over the things I want in my life; in no way am I preaching a method of living that I’ve mastered.

No, not even close.

I do, however, encourage you to consider acting instead of merely thinking or wishing. Certainly, we will fall short of our goals from time to time, whether big or small. However, we will never accomplish anything without trying. I have found that there is greater reward in trying and failing as opposed to letting fear get in the way of even trying at all. We learn from our failures, and we build resilience to handle just about anything we’re faced with.

Let this mentality help drive you toward your big goals—traveling to new places, finishing a marathon, or learning a different language—but also in smaller, day-to-day goals: Going to a yoga class, organizing your desk, or even finishing a chapter in a book. Celebrating our small scale accomplishments helps give us a sense of self-fulfillment, which slowly but surely will help build our confidence in our potential on a grand scale.

Happy 2012! I’ll be sharing my own personal resolutions tomorrow, and I hope everyone has had a relaxing, happy holiday season.

What are your resolutions or goals for this upcoming year? Do you think resolutions are cheesy or worthwhile?

“Santa, can you hear me?” Running Wish List

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First things first. Yes, my title is referencing the magical Britney Christmas song, “My Only Wish This Year.”

It will remain my favorite Christmas song of all time for the rest of my life.

Alright, now that we’re all caught up on my shamelessness, let’s talk about running.

First, THIS:

HA!

An old friend of mine from high school—who I ran with—sent me this the other day, and I got a big kick out of it. I think race photos are very humbling proof that if you think you look hot when you run, you’ll always be wrong.

Anyways.

Today, it happened again. I don’t know what’s going on with me—some sort of brain metamorphosis; I spent about 85% of my run in voluntary silence, and I loved it.

My brain juggled around numerous thoughts on running, writing, blogging, and other miscellaneous wonderful things. While I was playing this fun game of weaving through various thoughts and enjoying the crisp {frigid} morning air, I began thinking about my upcoming running goals. The list is somewhat substantial, both in length and content, and I can only attribute it to the fact that running is my most treasured hobby, therefore it comes with a lot of extraneous planning.

So, today—in honor of the holiday season—I thought I’d share with you my “Running Wish List.” My actual Christmas list is way too far-fetched and idealistic, and obviously I don’t want to be known as the materialistic running girl who wants anything and everything to do with Lululemon and workout gear. No, a “Running Wish List” is not only more plausible, but it offers a lot more potential for self fulfillment than a new pair of fabulously cut running tights.

So, without further ado…

This year in my running career I hope to…

1) Do a 12k in under an hour

Ah I hate saying these things out loud, because somehow it makes me feel much more accountable than keeping them in the back of my mind. However, this wish is due to the upcoming race BF and I are doing called the 12ks of Christmas. However hard I try, I cannot go into a race without a specific number pulsing in my head, and in this case it’s under the 60 minute mark. I will have to run pretty dead even 8 minute miles to do the 7.45 in under an hour, and although I’m confident I have it in me—it’s still pretty fast, and there isn’t much wiggle room

2) Get faster

I have been very purposefully resisting the plunge into integrating speed work into my routine. The fact of the matter is I would so much rather go out for a nice long, leisurely run than spend an hour on the track doing intervals and sprints. Understandable, right?

Unfortunately, I do want to get faster and speed work is the obvious gateway to that wish. Fine, I give in. 2012—you’ll see me on the track. Plus, my local running store West Seattle Runner offers weekly custom speed workouts. I have no excuse. Maybe I can use my old track spikes?

3) Get a BQ

Again, I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud. Now it’s real. Affirmed by the officiality of cyber space documentation. (No, officiality is not a work—but it should be and you get it.)

For those of you who don’t know, a BQ stands for Boston Qualifier—meaning you ran a  qualifying time to get into the Boston Marathon.

Okay, I KNOW I have only run one marathon and the loftiness of this goal is completely irrational and far fetched. I know this, trust me. However, the sprinter inside of me cannot help but want to reach the next level. And when your first marathon time is only 7 minutes away from qualifying for Boston, you cannot help but wonder how possible it could be. Those 7 minutes stick in my head pretty consistently, and I know that with some good solid training I can shave off that time. Also, Boston continues to lower their qualifying times, so if I don’t go for it soon the time will only be do-able by the Olympic hopefuls.

BTW…thanks a lot for this, Boston.

4) Get a new half marathon PR

I am seriously convinced that the race I ran my half PR in was a fluke. I ran way faster than I ever do, and I still have a hard time understanding how I was able to pull it off completely unintentionally. Therefore, the thought of breaking this PR is really daunting to me. Just doing the math of how fast those 13.1 miles need to be gives me a nervous stomach.

I haven’t done a half since that PR (mostly due to my injury and marathon training),and since my endurance/weekly mileage is higher than it was before running that race—I’m on a mission to set an intentional PR, no matter how gut-wrenching it might be.

5) Do more yoga, stretch more often, and fuel more appropriately

Okay, so I thought I would put a wish out there that was a bit more easily accessible, and doable on a day-to-day basis. The fact of the matter is that when I take good “running care” of myself, I’m a much happier and better runner. It sounds simple, but I think that all the extras that are required in this sport can easily fall to the wayside. Which is ridiculous, because as I’ve written before—the simple things such as proper stretching, adequate fuel intake, and ample hydration make all the difference when it comes to running performance.

In the next year, I’d like to try and do yoga—here goes—3 times a week. I feel so much better when I keep up on a yoga routine, simple as that. So despite my reluctance and excuses (typically consisting of wanting to sit on the couch and watch Jeopardy instead), I am vowing to get on my mat more. Additionally, I could do a much better job of pre and post run fueling and hydrating. I cannot tell you how many times in the middle of a run I think, “Why the F did I not just drink more water yesterday?” And then after I’m done, once again I don’t drink enough water. This is not acceptable as a runner—and I plan on changing this bad habit. Also, I’ve decided to eat more bagels and pasta—because, you know, as a runner I should. I get too wrapped up in getting all my food groups in that sometimes I forget—oh yea, on the night before a long run I should probably up the carbs. Ridiculous, I know. And this is a “wish” that is really freaking easy/awesome to fix.

 

So there you have it. My “Running Wish List” is out there for the “world” to see. It makes me nervous to say some of those bigger goals out loud, as they’ve remained in the depths of my running psyche. However, putting them out into the universe—even just in the sense that I can go back and read that I’ve said them—actually helps motivate me. And ultimately, saying them out loud is the first step to making them a reality.

Now You! What are some of your wishes, running or otherwise?

 

Running Purism

4 Replies

For the majority of my running career, I was always horrified at the thought that my iPod might die in the middle of a run. Music was the essence of a steady pace and entertainment during my runs, and it was unimaginable to think of spending over an hour out on the roads with only the thoughts in my head.

I guess you could say I’m a plugged-in runner. I really enjoy using the time spent running as a chance to zone out and focus on listening to music and sweating through the miles. Although my music doesn’t change all that often, I treasure the songs I use for running and each represents a different aspect of my running for me.

So why is it, since the marathon in October, have I been pulling out my headphones and running in silence…and enjoying it??

This is a very new phenomenon for me, and it isn’t completely regular, however during each run I’ve been having this urge to participate in my surroundings without the distraction of music. It’s really different and odd for me—music has always been my constant as a runner, and I was always in shock at the people who could spend miles and miles inside their own heads without an upbeat tune keeping their feet moving. My running friend Rose refers to this type of runner as a “purist,” which I really think is the perfect description. Because running is in so many ways just this—pure. It’s simple, it’s primal, and it requires very few external resources.

Running without an iPod is the essence of this running purism. Without the distraction of various songs in our heads, we must channel our attention to the rhythm of our breath, the tapping of our feet, and the hum of our surroundings.  When we unplug from our distractions, we can absorb our surroundings so much more wholly.

I feel that this thought was what initially jolted me to turn off my iPod one cold Seattle morning. It was dark and calm out, and I had the sudden desire to hear the sound of the ocean that I run by all the time. All at once, I was completely in awe of the peaceful solitude I felt without my music. All my senses seemed to be heightened; I could hear the breaking waves, the “arping” seals, and the cooing seagulls. With the exception of occasional passing headlights, I really felt completely alone with my surroundings, and there was something very therapeutic about the whole experience. Without music, suddenly these other facets of running overwhelmed me all at once, and I felt very curious to play around with this new-found running technique.

It would be a lie to say that I saw the light and now run in meditative silence alongside the sea creatures and rainbows. No, not even close. I still start most of my runs with my iPod, and I do still keep it on for a full run from time to time (note: hills are nearly impossible to tackle without an epic “Dream On” anthem playing at top volume). However, I’m no longer scared to run without music. During almost every run I unplug from my headphones, if only for just a small portion of time, and enjoy all the external beauties surrounding me. I have found that without headphones, I give much more acknowledgment to others passing by, my pace is kept much more precise, and I am actually more distracted than I am with headphones. However, this distraction is driven by appreciation and admiration of everything surrounding me, as opposed to hearing Taylor Swift sing so precisely about the aches of love (for the hundredth time).

I guess my point is this: By allowing my attention to focus outward during a run, as opposed to solely on the beat filling my ears, I have learned to appreciate running in a whole new way. For a long time, I loved the feeling I got after a run. Sure, while I was plugging the miles I knew that I was accomplishing something, but my mind was always adrift; focused on the afterward. By unplugging and submitting to the nakedness of running without a fixed playlist, I have learned to love running in the present. My awareness of the things around me during a run has brought me in touch with the purism of running, which is all about enjoying the run itself. Even if I only occasionally remove my ear buds, this new found appreciation of “running in the present” has heightened my admiration for the sport. Channeling our energy into the present moment is one of the hardest things for people to do, and running is one of the few activities that, if done with diligence, yields an ethereal sense of stillness and peace.

Do you run with music? Book on tape? What are your thoughts on unplugging ourselves during a run?